Tuesday, February 06, 2007

One of Those Weeks: Catching Up

Christmas 1998

I am having one of those weeks. I couldn't get a poem together for "Poetry Thursday" and especially about a mathematical proof. But I thought a lot about it and maybe one will surface one day.

Then it was time for Scribbling Sunday and the topic of "Good-bye". Been thinking about it for days now.

Friday marks the 9th anniversary of my mother's passing. I have been thinking about her and how I just do not talk much about my mother.

I remember that day so clearly. I decided to go home before my acupuncture appointment. And there was a message from my aunt to call her. I knew it my heart it was about Mom. Mom had passed. I left to make my acupuncture appointment. Tears streamed down my face the entire session.

She suffered from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). A surgery nurse who loved her cigarettes, cigars, and drinks.

The January previous, the hospice workers looked at me as if I was a crazy woman. I told them that her goal was to make it to November 1998, her 50th wedding anniversary. And she did. She made it through the holidays, too.

I remember her calling me and asking me to come as soon as winter break began. My father had sprained his ankle and couldn't get around very well. My brother and his family would be arriving. So I went and stayed until school started up in January.

She was tired. Most of the time her lips were blue. The whirring of the oxygen machine lulled me to sleep at night. Her bravery was fierce.

We talked weekly. Always telling me that she was doing better. My birthday came and went in late January. My aunt visited them.

I can't forget the final phone call. Mom, trying to put on the good game face but her voice betrayed her. Fatigued, the battle too difficult to fight. I said to her, "Mom, take the path of least resistance. I love you". "I love you, too, hon', "she replied.

And that was it. We hung up. She went to hospice on Sunday. Tuesday, the harp player's music escorted her to the light just as my dad arrived.

Speaks to me in dreams
Take path of least resistance
Lilting harp music

Other ways to say good-bye, here

1 comment:

paris parfait said...

Beautiful haiku and sad, but beautiful post about your farewell to your mom.