The body knows
Secrets of the night
Hears whispers, feels caresses
Syncopated breathing
Secrets of the night
Candlelight flickers, shadows dance
Syncopated breathing
Sleepy souls spoon
Candlelight flickers, shadows dance
Sounds linger, fade away
Sleepy souls spoon
As the tide is rising
Sounds linger, fade away
Draping arm pulls the body closer
As the tide is rising
Gibbous moon appears
Draping arm pulls the body closer
Hears whispers, feels caresses
Gibbous moon appears
The body knows
I discovered the poem form, the pantoum, as I was judging the poetry books for the CYBILS Award. The form has been percolating in me. For more poetry, click here.
18 comments:
I like your work and will research the pantoum. I like the way it worked for you.
I love your poem and the form. It flows back and forth, like a tide.
All the lines, light, they just work together.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. :)
This is such a great poem, I love the tides. The moon, the breaths, the passion, all ebb and flow. The body knows.
Rose
xo
You've really captured the tides here both in the rhythm of the words and the different line lengths. You've also done a great job of writing a pantoum (it's a form that I think is really difficult to use well).
I had written a pantoum long time back. Time I wrote another one. I like the structure.
gautami
In-between state of consciousness
Ooh, I love spooning... I don't know about the pantoum- thanks for that.. I'll have to look it up!
Wonderful poem, Jone!
I was going to say almost exactly what Rose said - the ebb and flow here is wonderful, so ethereal.
Very lovely, the rhythmic ebb and flow are so much like breath.
Well done!
Jone,
Thanks for the introduction to the pantoum form. The repeat is catchy while taking you deeper into the thought.
I'm going to try this. It's something I think I'll enjoy.
rel
I've done this but didn't know it had a name. Thanks. And this is very nice.
I liked that the form promoted the poem. It seemed organic,not falsely placed. The form did not lord over the words, but guided them, as a dance partner.
thanks.
Oh, this is my favorite form, but I didn't even recognize it at first. It felt more like a villanelle to me.
Thanks for visitng everyone. "We are Waiting" from the book Butterflie Eyes and Other SEcrets of the Meadow was my inspiration to try this form.
Such tender and soft passion leaving the reader with quiet satisfaction. I will be exploring the pantoum form as well. Thank you for something new to look at.
The pantoum is not an easy form, but you've done it so well here. The words flow from one stanza to the next. Very nice!
Yummy poem. Mmmm. And thanks for introducing a new (to me) form.
Jone, I like the romance and double entendre of this wonderful romantic poem.
What a neat poem! It makes me think of a chorus effect, which makes the lines that much more haunting. Thanks for sharing!
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